2019 in Review
I don’t like to choose a word for the year (the primary reason being I don’t want to read my every experience of the upcoming year through the filter of that word; I would rather the Word of God remain my filter.) However, at the end of every calendar year, I do reflect on the main themes or big lessons God wove into the past 12 months.
One of my 2019 resolutions was to blog more but that simply didn’t happen because I poured all my energy into my book. Thankfully, Instagram became a micro-blog of sorts. A lot of the major lessons I struggled through, learned, and re-learned are summarized within those posts. This is more for my remembrance than anything else, but here are just a few captions that encapsulate the heart lessons from 2019:
Spiritual warfare is real. (1/12/19):
“Satan is the great deceiver and sets out to replace God’s truths in our minds with his lies. John MacArthur says that our minds are a battlefield for spiritual conquest and I believe this to be true. I do not want Satan to claim any territory in my mind or heart . . . the end goal of his lies is to bring us to a point of rebellious disobedience, but thanks be to Jesus that we are no longer slaves to sin! Sanctification commends this work-in-progress to labor towards perfect, loving obedience.”
God’s power is made perfect in weakness. (2/9/19):
“I’ve been telling my friends that I feel like a bowl and God is scraping out all the junk. Just when I think I’m completely empty, there’s residual that He continues to scrape away. I keep coming back to the fact that I am weak. It’s my natural tendency to try to do things in my own strength but every aspect of my entrepreneurial journey—photography, magazine-making, writing, and so forth—provides the ongoing lesson that apart from Him I can do nothing. This, of course, conflicts with the self-sufficient part of me that wants to get things done on my timeline but I’m glad it’s this way so that my boast remains in Him alone.”Motherhood Matters (2/28/19):
“The most important following a mother has is not found in her Instagram stats, it’s in her home. I have three followers in my home that are 3, 5, and 8 and the way I ‘share’ my life with them matters so much more than what I 'share’ on social media. It’s easy to fall into the trap that our online lives matter more than our home lives, but this is a lie from down below. The online world is muddied with self-promotion, comparison, envy, one-upping, discontent, online cliques, and more. There are many aware of the curated facade and in reaction to it, transparency has become trendy. But even the one who shares the bed head and sinkful of dirty dishes may value screen time above who is immediately before her.
How do we moms guard our hearts from all of these distractions? By filling our minds with the truth found in Scripture, we exchange worldliness for wisdom. We trade the temporal for the eternal. It is then that Instagram is revealed for what it is: unfulfilling kingdoms that will soon pass away. But the souls we’ve been entrusted with? Those will live forever in one of two destinations and it’s our responsibility as moms to do all that we can to point them heavenward.”God helps us in our anxiety. (7/12/19):
“He is the One who calms the storms brewing within our hearts and minds. He is the one who confidently tells us to be anxious for nothing! He offers us His written word to store in our hearts for these very moments when we draw from it in the midst of uncertainty. Of course, I haven’t rid myself of anxious feelings entirely (at least not until heaven). The panic may still arise in unexpected ways and times, but I’ve tasted and seen that He is good and know that His word is true. We truly can be anxious for nothing because we can make our requests known to God through prayer. What a gift! If you’re wrestling with anxiety, know that you are not alone. Praying once may not give always give an instant result, especially if anxiety has been a pattern of thinking for so long but His Word is living and active and as your love for and knowledge of Him grows, so will your pattern of thinking conform to His, and with that, the power to trade anxiety for lasting peace.”This world is not our home. (7/20/19):
“After living in a variety of apartments, townhouses, and homes, and moving into our actual dream house, I can confidently say that a house is nothing more than a temporary shell entrusted to us for God’s glory. (Sorry, HGTV but you’re overrated.) Yes, we care for it and keep it. We express our creativity in the form of painted walls and gardens and strung lights. We show hospitality and offer comfort to all who enter its doors. The home becomes a refuge for both the loved one and the stranger. Within its walls the Gospel is proclaimed, the Lord is remembered and praised. It is in this space where everyday ministry occurs. But our ability to extend hospitality and love our neighbor isn’t hindered by our square footage. The Gospel proclaimed to houseguests doesn’t hinge on whether or not our space looks like a Chip and Joanna makeover. Whether a big house, small house, short house, or tall house, the building, camper-van, hut or farmhouse that we may call home can all become worthy spaces for honorable use . . . Our next place will not have white walls and wooden floors. It will have fewer bedrooms, less square footage/acreage and because it’s a rental it is not a space we can call ‘our own’. But we have moved along with us more than just boxes of stuff. We carry the knowledge that any space is worthy of glorifying God in. May it be so in our next home.”The Christian depends on God alone. (10/10/19)
“Each day I become increasingly aware of my inability to live as God calls me to in my own strength. I cannot do all things through Dianne alone. I desperately need God every single second and even though I am saved and know these truths, I find myself dancing between wholly trusting in the Lord and trusting in my abilities. I always seem to fall somewhere in between knowledge and understanding. And so these last few weeks have felt like a lot of wrestling...of me thinking I have my junk together and God showing me that I am not the all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-wise One. I recognize my weakness but want to fix it and fast forward through my sanctification process. Once again, He’s emptying me of myself, and although it’s painful, His power is truly made perfect in my weakness. I am reminded that in order to be filled with Him, we must first be emptied of ourselves and this is not a once and done kind of thing, it is a daily, all the days of our life kind of thing.”
Of course, all these themes carry into this year and the next. Praise God, He continues to sanctify me. If I had to sum it all up, however, it would be in this quote by Augustus Toplady (penned in his personal journal in the 1700’s). A friend posted this quote on New Year’s Eve and I thought it also described my 2019 year:
