35 Weeks

I feel hiccups. I feel scrapes from little fingers and toes. I feel every kick, twist, and turn. And for the next 5 weeks (give or take some) I will continue to feel our sweet girl grow and grow and grow. In ways it feels like this pregnancy has flown by but when I think back to how long I've been stuck in maternity clothes then it definitely feels like it's been a good 8 months or so.Over the course of this pregnancy I've really struggled with the idea of going through this entire process for a third time. It feels selfish to admit such a thing, especially considering what a textbook pregnancy this has been but Ethan and I were talking and we calculated that in the six years of our marriage I've been pregnant for 1/3 of it. This figure will obviously decrease the longer we are married (so long as we have no more kids anytime soon, ha!) But occasionally I come across a blog or Instagram post of women who just seem to love being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am amazed by the life that I get to carry for 9+ months but it's quite tiresome...not even just physically but emotionally.There are mixed emotions about what it will be like to have three. However, God has shown me in the transition from 1 to 2 that He is more than capable of supplying me with patience, grace, love, and all that is necessary to raise the crazy, little children that He's entrusted me with. There's also the thought of how having three separates me even further from others that are my age since I'm already in a much different season of life. But He's also taught me contentment in all the places He has brought our family. Then there is the thought that my sweet Skye (being the middle child) will require extra effort to ensure she gets the attention she needs. I don't want her to feel left out and so I'm praying for discernment to know when she needs me more than usual. And lastly, the thought of going through labor again has had me quite fearful for the past few months. But God has been working in my heart to lay this fear at His feet and He continually reminds me of His sovereignty in all situations. I write all this just because sometimes pregnancy posts can be misleading. They showcase the highlights of pregnancy and never lay dig a little deeper. There is great joy in pregnancy but there is also struggle. And perhaps this is why He gives us 9 months to work through it all.All that to say, I'm happy that everything with the pregnancy has been going wonderfully. There is definite discomfort at times but I've been going to wellness appointments every two weeks now and I always leave with a great report. Baby seems to be measuring appropriately and in a little over a month we should be meeting her! On a completely different note, do you think Baby #3 will have blue eyes and blonde hair like Kaiden? Or brown hair and brown eyes like Skye? We are dying to find out what she will look like!  

Skye's Birth Story

I wasn't as excited about having Skye as I was when I was pregnant with Kaiden. In fact, there was this deep fear that hung in the back of my mind. This time I knew what to expect and I was not looking forward to going through it. Many people would ask me, "Are you excited to meet your little girl?" and I was but that fear seemed to override any other emotion. I spent a lot of time talking it out with Ethan, praying over it and meditating on verses that encouraged me not to worry. I suppose there is a reason they term it "labor" and while I wish I could tell you it's all beautiful and glamorous, the reality is it's not. It's just as I had remembered. BUT, the end result was beyond worth it. So for those who are interested, here is Skye's birth story:

On June 3rd, I woke up at 3:30 am feeling a lot of pressure in my belly. It felt pretty close to how I felt when my water broke with Kaiden. I thought my water would break at any moment  buuuuut it didn't. There were irregular contractions coming and going which deemed me pretty much useless because of all the discomfort I felt. I tried going back to bed and got a few hours of sleep. My 40 week check up was that morning at 10 am but I was hoping something would happen before then...nope. Nothing. I showed up at my appointment and had noticed some bleeding that was cause for concern. They sent me up to labor and delivery where I stayed for two hours to be closely monitored. The medical staff had yet to determine if I would be admitted and at that point I was around 3.5 cm dilated. I didn't want to get sent home. I was so uncomfortable, at this point I was ready to just go through it all knowing what awaited me at the finish line. By the end of my time there I had made it to 4 cm (which is when you are considered in active labor) and they casually told me I could get admitted if I wanted or I could walk around for a few hours to help things progress. I knew that I would end up being stuck in the boring delivery room just waiting and so walking around seemed like a better decision. After an hour and a half of walking in active labor, I felt exhausted and decided to go in. They hooked me up to the monitors and the waiting game began. Once the contractions started to get stronger, I asked for an epidural. The anestheioslogist came up and administered it but something felt wrong. After they had inserted the catheter into my back, the doc gave me a test dosage to make sure everything was done correctly. I remember sitting on the side of the bed, holding Ethan's hands and looking into his eyes. All of a sudden everything felt fuzzy. I saw walls closing in as my vision got dark around the edges. I struggled to spit out the words, "I'm dizzy. I can't breathe. Something's wrong." The next thing I know, I am laying on the bed and there are doctors and nurses all around me. An oxygen mask was placed on my face and the anethesiologist kept telling me to "stay with him" and "keep talking." In those moments, my pulse went from 120 beats per minute down to somewhere around the fifties. My seemingly normal blood pressure also dropped down to read 64/50. They had to turn off the epidural and wouldn't turn it back on until I was fully stabilized. In the meantime, the contractions grew stronger. When I got to a point where I could take the epidural again, one of the doctors made the decision to break my water for me. They told me the anesthesiologist would be up shortly after but he got a life-threatening call else where in the hospital and so I had to wait. The contractions kept getting closer together and my pain became unbearable. I had dilated to a 9 before he made it back to my delivery room. Let me just say that that was the worst pain in my life. I asked the doc if this was what natural labor felt like and he confirmed it was. Thankfully, he was incredibly sweet and had delievered hundreds of babies, so he took my hand and led me through several breathing exercises that actually took my focus off the pain. Once the epidural kicked in, I was ready to push. A little over 20 minutes later, I met my baby girl for the first time ever. Just as it happened with Kaiden, all the pain, worries, stress were pushed aside. My eyes swelled with tears and my heart melted as I held her closely to my chest. She is and was beyond worth all the labor I went through that day.

I am so thankful to God for not only blessing me with her but for giving me a healthy delivery and strength to get through it all. My heart has somehow managed to make even more room for this new being and I couldn't be happier. Thank you to all our friends and family that have kept us in your thoughts and prayers.

Poor Ethan...he blinked in this picture but it's the only one we have of all three of us after the delivery lol.

Announcing Skye Jago!

Skye is officially 5 days old and today we took her newborn pictures. Unlike my squirmy son Kaiden, she happily cooperated and I got several great shots of her that I will have to post sometime later. In the meantime, enjoy her sweet little smile! I'm hoping to post her birth story sometime soon. :)