Home is Wherever I'm With You.

Ethan is FINALLY home! He flew in late last night and it was the most beautiful reunion ever. I was a bit nervous that Kaiden would be a tad bit shy around him but nope -- he knows his daddy! I could tell that Kaiden wasn't sure if this was real or not. His little hands clung to Ethan and our sweet, little boy was grinning from ear to ear. On the car ride home, Kaiden giggled and laughed at every word Ethan said. He has this deep, belly laughter that ha-ha'ed throughout the entirety of our conversation. When we got "home" (our friend's house where we are temporarily living), Kaiden was so hyper, showing off all his new toys and showing dad all his new skills (aka couch jumping and pillow tossing.) He didn't go to bed until 2 am! I can't describe how amazing it felt for us all to be back together again. Despite all the chaos we have been through, I deeply relate to the song lyrics, "Home is wherever I'm with you." I could care less about all the major and minor details going on in our lives right now. I'm just glad I'm with him, he's with us, and we are together.Speaking of home, I haven't talked too much on my blog about how we are in limbo with housing right now. We sold our house and had to move everything into storage. We weren't sure what was going on with Ethan and his job situation, so we couldn't really commit to any type of housing off-base and on base there is a six month waiting list. I have been temporarily living with some friends in their guest bedroom -- which I am SO grateful for! We decided to call our first sergeant and see if he could arrange housing for us...within minutes, we were told of an opening. When you move onto base housing, you have a choice if there is availability. This particular house is much bigger than what we would normally receive, but many people have been passing it up and choosing to go on the waiting list for the newer housing, so it's been vacant for a little bit. They offered it to us and we can move in as early as tomorrow! We are going to try and move everything out of storage by this weekend but Ethan can't do much since he is in so much pain right now. He is the type of guy that suffers in silence, and it's not like him to voice it out. I'm not sure what our next move is yet but if there is one thing we've both learned, it's to take everything day by day. I know this is still the beginning to a long journey ahead, but it has taught us SO much already. I have an even deeper appreciation for the time I get to spend with my husband and son. I also am reminded that God truly is our provider.Thank you to all who keep us in prayer.

Hey Dianne, how's it going?

Today, I was asked, "How's it going?" I blurted out my canned response and quickly realized that things actually aren't "good"...they are rather difficult. I'm currently listening to an overtired toddler scream his head off because he doesn't want to take a nap. He went to bed at 11 pm last night and woke up at 6:30 this morning...he normally goes to bed at 7:30 pm and wakes up at 8 am, so I know he is tired. He fell asleep on the ride home today for about 20 minutes and then when it was time to transfer him to his pack n' play, he woke up. He has been running around, hyper as can be, but keeps tripping on things because he is sleepy. I finally decided to just stick him in his room and make him take a nap...we'll see how this goes.About a week ago, I was really at my breaking point with Kaiden. I love the little guy to pieces but he has been deliberately acting out. I know he doesn't like the change. I know he doesn't like seeing our house packed up. I know he doesn't like getting passed from babysitter to babysitter (so I can pack). I know he doesn't like getting off schedule. I know he misses his real bed. I also know he misses his dad. We've been without Ethan for six weeks and it's been so hard on us both. I don't have family nearby to help out so I'm so grateful my mom flew in for a few days. We already had her ticket purchased (before this whole mess) because she was going to fly back to Wisconsin with Kaiden and I, so it ended up working out perfectly. Almost the entire time she was here, we spent our time boxing things up and moving them into storage. We almost didn't buy that ticket a few months ago...I can only imagine how much harder this past week would've been without her. In addition to her help, several of Ethan's co-workers and church friends helped me move our whole house into a 10x20 unit. It was incredible to see the provision of helping hands. Just yesterday, we finished putting everything in storage and now all I have left to do is cancel our services and clean the house before the new owners move in. We are in the final stretch of this move and I will be thankful for the moment I hand over the key and sign the papers...it is only then that I can devote myself back to Kaiden and hopefully Ethan will be home.This past Friday morning, Ethan was told he should hear something by the end of the day. He was assured his case was put on "rush" orders and something would be done. He got a phone call but it was the same person saying that the department he needed to reach had left for the day (at 2 pm!) He was told to once again wait until Monday. We have been told this day after day for FOUR straight weeks now.  Prior to that, there was the Germany change and prior to that there were several more weeks of waiting on news about his job. Since August of 2011 we had no idea where we were moving to and in January of 2011 we were waiting to hear if he would even be allowed to train into the job. These past few years have been nothing but waiting and more waiting.I know God has been preparing us for something big. And in a huge way, I firmly believe Ethan's injury is a blessing in disguise. I would never want to wish pain upon him but while I was prepared for him to take on this crazy, new job, I'm relieved that I won't have to say goodbye for constant deployment. Kaiden needs his daddy and I need my husband.I will say this: Throughout this entire process, I have been pretty level headed. There definitely have been days where I broke down and sobbed but while I feel stressed, I still feel as though I can handle it all. Ask Ethan, that is not like me. I am an incredibly emotional person who can't handle much on my plate. Packing up a house by yourself (last minute) and moving it into storage -- with a toddler whose demanding needs don't change despite our change and not having family nearby -- is outright hard. I was talking with my brother on the phone and we were discussing people's canned responses, "The Lord will take care of you." "Everything will work out." Yes and yes, but while I know all of that to be true and do appreciate the encouragement, it doesn't change the fact that it's still hard. It still requires faith and faith is not true faith unless it' put into action through difficult periods. I am tired. My muscles are sore. I've sweat a whole lot. I'm both physically and mentally exhausted. But I have seen the Lord provide. I have seen Him give me patience with my son. I have witnessed the extra grace He has given to me on a daily basis.All this to say, I'm not writing this to complain or to gain sympathy. I just don't think my response of "Oh, I'm doing alright," fully encompasses all that is going on in our lives.Ah, and now there is silence. After lots of screaming, he is finally asleep. And now I can sleep too.

Ch-ch-changes

There have been some changes (again) and it looks as though we may possibly be staying in California until the end of the year. There are so many other details but for now I will just say that I have exactly 13 days to pack up my house, move things into storage and clean it before we close on the sale (all while taking care of an attention-hungry toddler lol.) I've already gathered several boxes and now I'm in the packing process. I definitely feel a little in over my head but despite the chaos of it all, I am so at peace with everything. There is no better place to be than in God's will and if that means being temporarily home-less, I'm down with that! As I posted on FB, I know that God is glorified through it all and I can trust that He is in complete control. I don't know what our next move is and I sure don't know where we are going, but I do know that this has been teaching both Ethan and I to have a total dependence on Him alone.I leave you with one of the many portions of Scripture that has been keeping my sanity lol. >>Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.  // Mathew 6:25