Tonight's bedtime was filled with a lot of tears. When Ethan left he told Kaiden that it was Kai's job to be the man of the house. Although the goodbye was hard, Kaiden was excited to step in and take charge. And in ways, he has. He's been my cuddle buddy, a big help with his two sisters, and someone that I can talk to and laugh with. We've had mini dates and sometimes we watch movies and stay up way past his bedtime. But tonight Kaiden told me that he no longer wants to be the man of the house. He said he just wants his daddy to come home so that Daddy can be the man of the house. I knew that Ethan's absence would be hard but there have been so many random outbursts of tears in moments I never expected.I've come to realize how important it is to stay strong for my children. (And it's completely the grace of God that I haven't lost it in front of them thus far.) With arms wrapped around him and fighting back tears of my own, I remind Kaiden that it is okay to be sad. It's okay to even cry. It's understandable because the best guy in the world is far away but when we feel sad we can pray. We can tell God how we are feeling. He listens and He cares. And then, through prayer, we remind ourselves the things we can take comfort in God for. Like the fact that He sees everything and He even sees his Daddy when we can't. Or the fact that He is our protector and Kaiden can ask God to protect Daddy as he travels. And through our prayers I've found Kaiden's own prayer life evolving into something beautiful. It's become something so much more than requests for "more toys please." He's started to pray for people outside of himself and that's been a beautiful thing to witness.After we prayed tonight, he was still distraught and so we listened to some of his Christian dance songs. One of the songs quotes Ephesians 6:10 and says "Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power." I pulled off his covers and we just danced around the room until he couldn't help but giggle at how goofy his mom looked. I tucked him into bed, turned on some Adventures in Odyssey, and closed the door to a boy who was smiling and in better spirits.And this is where our faith meets our current circumstances. How does my theology bring hope in moments of heartache? How can I use this as a tool to teach my kids about how to interact with God? I refuse to waste the time I've been given. I miss Ethan so incredibly much but there is much to learn from this season of life. A walk of faith requires intention! It would be so easy to give in to my emotions, throw pity parties for myself, and just sulk in our difficulties. But there's no hope in that. My joy comes from the Lord, not the constant shifting of life. And so I apply the very things I teach Kaiden: praying, listening to things that encourage (like Christian music or sermons), and reading my Bible to keep my mind anchored in truth. There is hope in a God that is good (Psalm 145:9) and sovereign (Psalm 135:6). And if we believe He is good then we can trust him completely as he works all things for His perfect purposes (Romans 8:28). I can look back at difficult moments in the past and see how God used those situations to grow me, change my heart, and conform me to His image. And I can trust that He is doing the same today, both in my heart and in Kaiden's. Thank you for your continued prayers. <3“My hope is not in the absence of suffering and comfort returned. My hope is in the presence of the One who promises never to leave or forsake, the One who declares nothing 'will be able to separate us from the love of God' (Rom. 8:39). Nothing.”— Kara Tippets, The Hardest Peace"But because I believe God’s plans for me are better than what I could plan for myself, rather than run away from the path he has set before me, I want to run toward it. I don’t want to try to change God’s mind — his thoughts are perfect. I want to think his thoughts. I don’t want to change God’s timing — his timing is perfect. I want the grace to accept his timing. I don’t want to change God’s plan — his plan is perfect. I want to embrace his plan and see how he is glorified through it. I want to submit."— Nancy Guthrie