A HOLY PURSUIT

View Original

35 Weeks

IMG_1952-3I feel hiccups. I feel scrapes from little fingers and toes. I feel every kick, twist, and turn. And for the next 5 weeks (give or take some) I will continue to feel our sweet girl grow and grow and grow. In ways it feels like this pregnancy has flown by but when I think back to how long I've been stuck in maternity clothes then it definitely feels like it's been a good 8 months or so.Over the course of this pregnancy I've really struggled with the idea of going through this entire process for a third time. It feels selfish to admit such a thing, especially considering what a textbook pregnancy this has been but Ethan and I were talking and we calculated that in the six years of our marriage I've been pregnant for 1/3 of it. This figure will obviously decrease the longer we are married (so long as we have no more kids anytime soon, ha!) But occasionally I come across a blog or Instagram post of women who just seem to love being pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I am amazed by the life that I get to carry for 9+ months but it's quite tiresome...not even just physically but emotionally.There are mixed emotions about what it will be like to have three. However, God has shown me in the transition from 1 to 2 that He is more than capable of supplying me with patience, grace, love, and all that is necessary to raise the crazy, little children that He's entrusted me with. There's also the thought of how having three separates me even further from others that are my age since I'm already in a much different season of life. But He's also taught me contentment in all the places He has brought our family. Then there is the thought that my sweet Skye (being the middle child) will require extra effort to ensure she gets the attention she needs. I don't want her to feel left out and so I'm praying for discernment to know when she needs me more than usual. And lastly, the thought of going through labor again has had me quite fearful for the past few months. But God has been working in my heart to lay this fear at His feet and He continually reminds me of His sovereignty in all situations. I write all this just because sometimes pregnancy posts can be misleading. They showcase the highlights of pregnancy and never lay dig a little deeper. There is great joy in pregnancy but there is also struggle. And perhaps this is why He gives us 9 months to work through it all.All that to say, I'm happy that everything with the pregnancy has been going wonderfully. There is definite discomfort at times but I've been going to wellness appointments every two weeks now and I always leave with a great report. Baby seems to be measuring appropriately and in a little over a month we should be meeting her! On a completely different note, do you think Baby #3 will have blue eyes and blonde hair like Kaiden? Or brown hair and brown eyes like Skye? We are dying to find out what she will look like!IMG_1947-3IMG_1953-2