Dear Reader,I may know you. I may not. But I am burdened for you. I know what it's like to feel like something is missing in life...I know what it's like to search high and low and never feel satisfied. In order for you to understand why I write the things I write and post the things I post, it is important for you to understand the foundation my life is built upon. This is my testimony:I grew up in a Christian home. The night before my first day of kindergarten, my parents sat me down and told me about Jesus. They explained that all were born with a sinful nature and that the penalty of sin in death...but God, in His loving kindness paid the price for our sins by sacrificing His son on the cross for us. It was that night that I prayed, asked Jesus for forgiveness and "got saved".Middle school rolled around and I didn't expect such a change to happen between 5th and 6th grade. Kids were dating. Swearing was normal. Clothing labels and looks really started to matter. It was clear who was popular and who was not. I definitely was not. My friends called me a goodie-two-shoes because I had good grades and didn't swear. The only guy that seemed to be attracted to me was the kid rumored to have a .456 GPA, haha. My self esteem took a toll and out of peer pressure I tried my hardest to fit in. I started swearing, dated a guy behind my parents back (for a whole 6 days!) and spent the next summer working to pay for brand name clothes. Go figure, I bought a ton of stuff from Limited Too (do you remember that store?!) and the next year it was considered out of style and little-kid-ish.Seventh grade was probably my worst year. I became two different people: the person I was at school and the person I was at home/church. I could turn my language on and off with no problem. I started dating a few more guys and found a group of friends that took me in. As the months passed by, I found myself tearing others down and cheating on homework. This wasn't me at all. One day after school, we all walked to McDonald's when a friend pulled out a bottle of Vodka she had stolen from family. I didn't know what to do. I stayed with them until some of them started getting drunk, and then I found myself walking back to her house alone. I wanted no part of that. I remember one lunch period, one of my friends started picking on a girl who had a "Jesus loves you" sticker on. That was a huge wakeup call. I was supposed to be a Christian and my friends probably had no idea. I stood there watching them tear her down for something I was supposed to believe in. I told them to knock it off and walked away. It was around this time that one of my friends who used to be in our group was rejected for whatever reason. (The two "leaders" always seemed to make their way around our group picking on us all.) Whenever she would walk down the halls they would swear at her and make ridiculous noises at her. I had my limit with them and told them to stop...that's when the tables turned on me. Shortly after, I was the one picked on in the halls. I heard every name you can think of. They made fun of my clothes, made fun of my ethnicity, spread rumors around the school about me and at one point, they pushed me up against the lockers and threatened to beat me up after school. I came home crying every day. I felt depressed, ugly, unloved and alone.8th grade rolled around and I had committed to finding a new set of friends. I spent that year bouncing around different groups. Even though I had some close friends, I still felt so alone. I knew I needed to make a change. I asked my parents if I could switch to a private school.I remember walking into my 9th grade algebra class for the first time. We opened class in prayer every morning and I remember folding my hands and bowing my head on the first day. I quickly realized that most everyone else wasn't doing that. Most of these kids had been going to a Christian school all their life and this was all routine to some of them. I don't know what I expected from a Christian school but it wasn't that. I soon found myself caught up in a lukewarm state. I quickly became consumed in the idea of being liked. I went from a school where I was a no one, to a small school of 100 where I was noticed for being the new kid. I copied what all the popular girls did in middle school. I bought the brand names, acted the way they did and for a time, it worked! I told myself I would never allow myself to get picked on like that again. Not much had changed in me, except for the fact that now I was in a different setting.Fast forward to my senior year. I had just gotten out of a relationship of 2 1/2 years. I spent most of my high school wrapped up in the idea of having a boyfriend. I longed for someone to care about me and so that was my focus. My relationship with him was built on my insecurity and my selfish desires, and that took a toll on us both. I made him my source for happiness, and so when we had problems and he didn't make me happy, my whole world crashed. I was a complete wreck almost the whole time we dated. There's a song that compares the writer's relationship to a drug. I think that's a fair comparison. My relationship with my boyfriend was addictive -- there were some highs but there were a whole lot of lows. It didn't satisfy. It brought out the worst in me and caused me a lot of heartache. I knew I was running from God. I knew I was rejecting Him by living the life I was but I didn't care. If I could've stopped going to church I would've. I felt like a phony taking communion, so I would purposefully spill the juice or drop the cracker. At one point, I made the decision in my mind that I chose my boyfriend over God. I wanted his love and attention more than anything else. (Please note, I'm not trying to push any blame on the guy I dated at all. There were a whole lot of problems stemming from ME.) And still, it didn't satisfy. Throughout this time, God put several signs in my life to try and get a hold of me, but it wasn't until the end of my senior year that I was completely broken and humbled. We took our annual choir trip and watched the movie "Facing the Giants". I can barely remember the movie now but from what I do remember, I was struck with the fact that I wore the Christian title, but never really lived it out (again.)What did it mean to be a Christian? That night, it clicked. Christiniaty is not just another religion. It's not traditions, it's not routine, and it's not something I do as a way to earn entrance into heaven. It is all in vain if I am just going through the motions. I may have been fooling my parents and others around me, but I wasn't fooling God. Being a Christian is recognizing that sinful nature I talked about earlier. What do I mean by that? The 10 commandements state if you have ever told a lie, you are a liar. I am a guilty. I am a liar. If you have ever had lust in your heart towards someone, you are an adulterer. I am an adulterer. If you have ever stolen something, even as small as a stapler from work, you are a thief. I am a thief. If you have ever had hate in your heart towards someone, that is the same as murdering. I am a murderer. There are 6 more commandments and I can guarantee you I've broken every one of them. That being said, I am a sinner. When God created us, He could've created us like robots. We could've been commanded to worship and obey Him. Picture your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend "loving" and doing nice things for you only because you controlled them to do so. That would get old, real quick. Isn't it so much sweeter knowing that they choose to love you back out of their own free will? God gave us free will. He wants us to love Him back. But it's this free will which allows us to sin. Romans 6:23 says that the penalty of sin is death. I sin, therefore I deserve to die. However, "While the physical consequence of sin is physical death, that is not the only kind of death that results from sin. All sin is ultimately committed against an eternal and infinite God (Psalm 51:4). Because of that, the just penalty for our sin is also eternal and infinite. What we need to be saved from is eternal destruction (Matthew 25:46; Revelation 20:15)." (source) aka hell. BUT, God sent His perfect Son as a sacrifice (He was beaten, tortured, mocked, spit on and nailed to a cross by the very people he came down to save) to pay for our due penalty. It was HIS death that was the perfect, suffficent sacrifice for sin. It was His death that bridged the gap between us and God. The person I had become in high school was selfish and ugly. But it was His death that brought me complete forgiveness.Back to choir trip....that night, I began to examine my heart and saw how empty it was. All this time I had been living for myself and absolutely none of it was fulfilling. No matter how much I tried, no one and no-thing could possibly make me happy. I went into the hotel bathroom, closed the door and cried out to God. I explained to Him how undeserving I am of His love and patience. I explained how I had rejected Him by using my own methods to fill my life with things I thought would make me happy. I told Him how I have seen Him giving me many chances to turn around. I thanked Him for His grace and mercy, asked for forgiveness for a hardened heart towards Him and asked for the strength to change. This was the first time in all of my "Christian" life that I had realized I desperately needed a Savior. The best part was that I was/am forgiven, and I would never have to look back.After that night, I was a new person. My life had purpose, hope and an unexplainable joy. The Bible describes it as a "peace that passes all understanding" and that is exactly what I felt. My problems didn't go away but I was given hope. I was given a love letter (the Bible) with all of life's instructions and God's promises to us. I definitely was not perfect after this heart change. There were many points where I slipped up and fell back into old habits (still do and always will because we are human) but things were slowly changing. God used several different people, passages and places that were instrumental in helping me grow and figure out where to go from there. It's been almost 5 years since that choir trip day, and I cannot begin to tell you the work that God has done in my life since then. I slowly learned to give every aspect of my life over to Him and that is what transformed me. My need for approval and insecurities are wiped away and have been replaced with a confidence of who I am in Christ. My focus is no longer on how a guy can make me happy and is exchanged with an unconditional love from our heavenly Father. I no longer spend my energy searching for something that will satisfy or make me happy, because my relationship with Christ is more than enough. I know that if I would have continued in the way I was living, I would not be married to the man of my dreams, I would not have the sweetest little boy on the planet and I would not be at peace with life.I wish you could see the person I was and the person I am now. The difference in my life is not my marriage, my son, my job...the difference is my relationship with Christ and oh, how I long for you to experience it too! Becoming a Christ follower doesn't mean that all your problems go away, but it DOES mean that you are given peace to endure them. We were created by God who instilled in us a deep desire to know Him more and while I don't know what you are chasing after -- love, marriage, kids, house, job, alcohol, sex, drugs, clothes, looks, approval -- I can tell you now, IT.DOESN'T.SATISFY. ...maybe for a season but it never lasts. I love my husband, I love my son, I love photography -- but these things don't don't fill me. Jesus says, "Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-burdened, and I will give you rest." Stop searching and find rest in Him. We have purpose. We have a reason to push through each day. We have hope. We have eternal life.So Reader, how do you become a Christian?It's so simple. “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved” (Acts 16:31). God has already done all of the work. All you must do is receive, in faith, the salvation God offers (Ephesians 2:8-9). Fully trust in Jesus alone as the payment for your sins. Believe in Him, and you will not perish (John 3:16). God is offering you salvation as a gift. All you have to do is accept it. Jesus is the way of salvation (John 14:6)." This doesn't mean that you just say "I believe!" and then continue doing your own thing. True belief results in a changed heart. A changed heart requires full surrender and a commitment to live for Christ alone. This is why Christianity is not simply religion. It is an active relationship. You are allowing God to take control of your heart and change you. I could go on and on but I've already made this post long enough. If you have any questions,want to know more or have decided to turn your life over to Christ, please, please contact me! You can call, text, message or just hit the contact form above.I long for you to have peace and most importantly, eternal life. Heaven and hell is a reality and I wouldn't put myself out there like this if I didn't firmly believe it.Love,DianneStill doubtful or want to learn more? Check out these resources:The Book of Matthew from the Bible -- Read about Christ straight from the BibleGot Questions.org -- "Why would a loving God send people to hell?" and any other question you can think of.The Case for Christ - A skeptical atheist, journalist that decides to see if Christ was really real in all the claims that are made about himThe Passion - An amazing movie that gives you a visual of the life of Christ