A HOLY PURSUIT

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Be All There.

Last night I sat down and had coffee with a real person. It sounds silly but with technology these days, it seems like we are able to connect with people without really having to "be there." Don't get me wrong...I love how the internet has introduced me to people I may have never known otherwise (like my husband or even the person I had coffee with haha) but I think it's safe to say that technology is a dangerous vacuum that sucks you in. You know you've got it bad when the moment you are on the internet, you immediately type in the letter "F." It's such a habit for me to log on to Facebook and before I know it, ten minutes have passed me by and I've probably walked away with more useless drama than knowledge anyways.I honestly feel exhausted with all that I have to keep up with -- Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Vine... the list goes on. My kids could be doing something adorable and I find myself photographing it with my big camera for the blog so people can clearly see, Instagram-ing so people can instantly see it and Vine-ing so they can see movement instead of a freeze frame. I miss the moment in the process of it all.Or I remember the time when Ethan, our good friends and I were all sitting on the couch hanging out and get this -- we were playing Words with Friends with each other on our phones! Even though we were all together, we weren't really together. I will never forget the time I had when I was with my family and Hurricane Sandy hit. While I hated being cold and not having power, I secretly loved the fact that all of our technology was useless and it forced us to spend quality time together. We told stories, shared good laughs and just simply lived.My husband has been off Facebook for months and has been encouraging me to do so. As my friend and I were talking yesterday, (she was in complete agreement, btw) Facebook is not the problem -- I am the problem. To put it bluntly: I lack self control...and this goes for any form of social media. I've actually been finding that I have a hard time focusing on things in real life because I just naturally go to my phone. My head is down, my eyes are glued and I'm probably developing arthritis of the thumb.I write all this because while touring a pre-school today, I dropped my phone and the screen went black. No cracks just a useless phone that still magically makes phone calls through my cars blue tooth. Surprisingly enough, my first reaction was not of anger. Normally these things would make me upset but I knew that being upset wouldn't fix the phone. My first reaction was, "Well, maybe this is God's way of forcing you to break the habit, Dianne." And it definitely helped push me in the direction I have been wanting to go.As a photographer and artist, I'm all about capturing moments and details...remembering the little things you may one day forget. I'm able to do this when looking through a camera but I know I am unable when holding a cell phone or surfing around on my laptop. I do try my best to be present wherever I am but I'm taking it a step further  by making myself take a step backward. The biggest reason for never deactivating was to maintain my business page but I've found a way to do it without ever having to see my personal news feed again. We still have family and friends all over and I still want to update them on our life so I will continue to blog and publish things on my Facebook fan page but it's strictly for that and business -- nothing more. As a mom of a toddler and newborn, I don't have much free time but I'm hoping that it will cause me to spend the little bit I do on other things.I don't want my kids to grow up and be used to seeing a screen in front of my face and I don't want to see a screen constantly in their face when they are grown up. Talking about how I want them to act is one thing but living it out and modeling it is another. I can't expect them to be fully present with me if I'm not fully present with them. Once we move into our new house, I'm implementing a strict schedule and it is then that I will attempt to set aside a time for technology. As the admirable Jim Elliot once said, "Wherever you are, be all there."Now stop reading this, people, and go hang out with a real person lol.